Recital

Tonight, I'm giving a senior trombone recital here at Luther. I am playing music which is by far the most challenging I have ever undertaken, and it is the biggest stage I will ever have taken as a solo performer. But you know, I'm not really that nervous. I'm sure jitters will appear as it gets closer to showtime, but for the first time in my musical career I think, I feel pretty damn confident about what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it. I feel good in my musicianship, in my ability to convey some sort of meaning to the audience through an artistic medium. In general, I feel good. I know I can play this stuff, and play it well. Real well. I just have to go do it.

The whole process of preparing has definitely made me think about the role of music in my life, and this sort of calm before the storm has made me even more reflective. Music has been such a huge part of my life at Luther, that it's sort of hard to take a step back and look at it as this single thing. It's just so intertwined. The funny thing is, I'm not even a music major. I am under no obligation to do any of the things I choose to do musically here. I don't have to practice. I don't even have to give a recital. I'm doing this tonight because I enjoy playing the trombone. I enjoy it so much that I want to share it with others. And that has led me to some realizations.

1) I want music to continue to be in my life after I graduate. I loathe to think what life is going to be like without ensembles every day, or having musical friends, or not being surrounded by music.

2) Sometimes I wonder if music isn't my life's calling. I know that I'm going to law school and all that jazz, and I do think I'll enjoy that too, especially if it allows me to get out into the world. But also, I think I would equally like studying musicology, or teaching it. I don't know. (I'm still going to law school though, at least for a year)

Anyways, all these musings inspired me to dig up some photos on my computer which illustrate part of my musical journey here at Luther. From an overmatched freshman three years ago, to an internationally known orchestral player last year, to my current status as one of the old guard of the Luther trombone studio, it's been quite a ride. One that hopefully won't quit.