Profound Insights, Wisdom, Etc.

1. When you sit down and think about it, chicken fingers really sound like a pretty macabre food. No one wants to eat fingers of any sort.

2. Have you ever noticed that to a dog, the entire planet is literally a giant toilet? The more I thought about it, the more sense it makes. I mean, why limit yourself to a chunk of porcelain when you could use the Yosemite Valley? All natural, compostable, what's the big deal?

3. Whenever you order pizza, regret inevitably follows

4. When you have graduated from college, and you go try to spend Christmas gift cards at American Eagle, you will feel like a giant tool

5. I think the only good reason to watch the Super Bowl in the future is to check out the new commercials for the upcoming Twins season. Aside from going to parties that involve free Mediterranean food and free beer, but the party doesn't require that you actually watch the game.

Maybe this will be a new recurring segment, much like the "Album of the Week" feature. Feel free to add input, or your own profound insights.