TV Drug Ads

I was subjecting myself to the modern America's most effective form of torture today (namely, Twins baseball on Fox), and I really couldn't help but note the number of ads I saw for prescription drugs.

I did have to run to the restroom quite a few times after that beer the other day, maybe I really should contact my doctor about Flomax. Hmm.

The whole idea of advertising a product which is inherently out of your control is bewildering to me. There's this notion, that if I as a consumer/patient, read that two page ad in "Better Homes and Garden," I will somehow gain a more nuanced understanding of pharmacy and medicine than my doctor, who presumably has completed years of painstaking education. But of course, that makes perfect sense! It's amazing how much fine print they can cram into one magazine ad, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. They try to cover all this up of course, by adding that small caveat: Ask your doctor if (blank) is right for you. Really though, isn't it more like, "this ad has convinced you (blank) is indeed right for you, so why don't you just run it past your doctor for good measure?"

As a nominal cog in the American health care machine (yes, machine), the strange thing is that once people actually find out the true cost of some of these glamour drugs, they are much less likely to desire them. Let's say, hmm, Lipitor. Lipitor is excrutiatingly expensive, and there are a host of similar generic drugs that may work just as effectively. It's stunning to see how quickly one person's adamant devotion to Lipitor will change, once they discover their insurance will no longer pay for it, and they are faced with a $230 charge. Per month.

But of course, for the folks in the ads, $230 a month must seem like chump change. Have you ever noticed, how happy and decidedly middle class everyone in prescription drug ads are? I mean, shit, the Flomax guy is flying his own plane! The Viagra guy is about to get it on with his absurdly attractive middle aged wife on his own private island! And these people, they have such interesting lives. It seems like every other person getting Avodart or some such thing is an accomplished blues guitarist, or a Hollywood model maker, or a professional golfer. I mean, I like to think I have some interesting hobbies, but how can I hold a candle to a guy who's hand-carving a boat? Or four guys who are having an impromptu Viagra hoedown in a roadhouse (see video)?

I must admit though, the Viagra ads puzzle me the most. The thing I've never quite understood, is do these men really need it? Look at their spouses. As a virile man, I have a difficult time believing they have ED under those circumstances. Maybe she has a terrible personality, but everyone in TV drug ads have incredibly interesting personalities, so that can't be right. No my friends, what would really be an effective commercial would be to showcase the sorts of normal men who actually need Viagra for use with their normal significant others. Shockingly, they don't all have hard bodies, and their wives don't look like gracefully aging beach volleyball players. It's more like beer bellies contained in a worn Harley-Davidson t-shirt. I mean, if Viagra can work for HIM with HER, than it can certainly work for YOU! If that's not a nifty little jingle, than I don't know what is.

Point being, these ads are ridiculous. Kind of like the Twins' road record (5-16).

Twins MVB Guest Post

Yes my friends, that is a recent photo of the scoreboard at Target Field. I'm sure most readers may not relate, but that is tear-jerking to a Twins fan. When you've been watching baseball in a plastic bag your whole life, that scoreboard out in the blue sky is like a southwestern vista. Cannot wait.

Since we're on the topic, I had the opportunity to write a guest post for a Twins blog that a friend of mine from Luther writes. So, check out my thoughts on these current Twins as (gasp) Kirby Puckett's heirs over at Twins MVB! Should be up on Friday. Maybe not my best writing, but it's something, right?

The Post You Were Expecting

I've been trying to think of some sort of insightful, hilarious, tongue-in-cheek post regarding the end of my first year of law school. I've actually been done for about 6 days and 19 hours now. But alas, the dry hilarity that I had hoped for has not materialized.

But to boil the whole end of the year thing down into one word would be easy. Relief. It's a very surprising feeling to spend time with friends, or go to a Twins game, and not feel this overwhelming sense of guilt that I should be reading about the commerce clause. Ironically, my write-on project for the law review is about the commerce clause. Go figure. I really shouldn't complain though, the commerce clause isn't too bad. Now, if I had to spend my free moments thinking about negligence or the calculation of expectation damages, that would be a bummer.

What have I been doing lately? Well, I've been perfecting the art of spending money, for one thing. If only that was an Olympic sport or something. I also went to a couple ballgames over the weekend, which was fantastic. There's nothing more satisfying to a humble Minnesota baseball fan than having the Twins beat up on a first place team to a nationally televised audience. Even if it took place in a plastic black hole.

Speaking of plastic black holes, the other day, I saw an image of the "Twins" logo being raised onto the scoreboard at the new Target Field. This is actually going to happen. Wild.

Since I'm on the subject, I think Joe Mauer may be an alien. Or some sort of baseball android from the future. But he surely isn't human. Right now, he's hitting a home run an average of every 8 at-bats, or something freakish like that. Because I have some sort of nativist streak, the fact that he is a corn-fed St. Paul boy makes it even more satisfying. If the Twins do not sign him long term, I'm fairly certain the Metrodome is going to become the site of one of those Branch Davidian style mass suicides.

I've got nothing else. A large set of digital condolences to my friends in the Luther College Concert Band, who had their Japan tour canceled due to the H1N1 flu virus. I wish I could adequately express how terrible I felt last Wednesday, especially being fortunate enough to make this tour four years ago. I was really excited for them, and looking forward to the homecoming concert at Ted Mann. Sometimes life just throws a curveball, I suppose. But for the folks who have worked all year for this tour, that's small comfort. Keep on going LCCB.

I've got some quality albums coming up.

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Only three more hours until freedom...

Album of the Week: Empyrean Isles

This is a very off the cuff album review. I've only listened through this album once, and it was while I was making Contracts notecards. But it was enough to blow my mind. And if it's good enough to blow my mind while I was only half cognizant, it's certainly enough to blow everyone else's mind. It is just some wicked modern stuff. Listen to it with "Maiden Voyage." Once I get another few listens in, maybe I'll have an actual review to post. But regardless, check this album out. Herbie's the man.

I have a confession to make. I went and saw Star Trek again today. The local theatre up here has tickets for only $5. I didn't know what else I was going to do all afternoon, and I felt like I needed to unload my brain. Especially since I spent three hours and 15 minutes this morning making Constitutional Law my bitch. So yes, I went, alone, and I refuse to apologize for it. In the aftermath, I also figured out how much it would be to put prescription lenses in my sunglasses, so really, the whole movie thing was just a quick stop prior to an essential errand.

Go listen to Herbie. I'll study contracts.

2

I wish I could declare the Twins' bullpen unconstitutional. This performance clearly is not rationally related to a legitimate end. It must be a pretext. Or maybe cruel and unusual punishment.

Damn it, there's no state action!

I guess I'll just have to get my constitution fix tomorrow at 8:30.

1

James Madison - "Property is everything to which a man attaches value and has a right."

Jean-Jacques Rousseau - "You are lost if you forget that the fruits of the earth belong to all and that the earth itself belongs to no one."

Pierre-Joseph Proudhon - "Property is the suicide of society."

Here we go.

Movie Review: Star Trek

So, in an effort to relax a bit before the start of finals, I went to see the new Star Trek flick with a friend of mine this morning. That's right, this morning. And let me tell you, the clientele for a Star Trek movie in the morning is everything you can imagine and more. No one was in their Starfleet uniform, but I don't think there were any women there. Mostly, it was single, mid 30's, balding, fat men. Plus myself and Corey. Fun times.

Now, I am not a Trekkie. Or a Trekker, if that's the name you prefer. But as many of you may know, I do have a certain, ahem, dark side when it comes to science fiction movies. I am not ashamed to say though, when I was a child, I used to watch Star Trek - The Next Generation. And I'll admit it, it was entertaining. In fact, I wouldn't mind watching it again. But point being, I am not a diehard Star Trek fan. And I still thought this movie was absolutely fantastic.

In a way, maybe not being burdened by Star Trek lore is a help, because you don't have to worry about being disappointed by anything. But as far as I can tell, this new movie stays true to spirit of the original. One really cool thing about Star Trek is the sort of utopian worldview it takes. That's not so prevalent in today's post-Cold War society, but can you imagine this in the 1960's? Black and white, American and Russian, men and women, human and aliens working together in harmony for peaceful exploration? What a great idea.

Anyways, to the movie. The acting is superb, and it's really striking how similar some of the actors and actresses look to the original TV cast. Spock especially, man, spot on. Spock and Kirk especially bring a very nice nuance to their roles. The conflict in Spock between his human emotion and Vulcan logic is really, really well done. Another really neat bit is the fact that Leonard Nimoy shows up! As, and you'll never guess, Spock! Yes, that's right, there are two Spock's in this film. And I know, it sounds sketchy, but it works out really really well. Nimoy brings an element of gravitas to the film that helps ground some of the more "out there" moments. Plus, he acts as such a poignant link to the noble history of this franchise. Well done.

As far as visuals go, this movie gets thumbs up. I always thought the Enterprise was such a cool looking ship, but to see it re-imagined in modern computer graphics, it takes it to another level. It's really such a graceful ship. It doesn't emanate aggression, or anything like that. Instead, it's more of an exercise in diplomacy and the importance of common understanding. Anyways, aside from sweet looking spaceships, the space battle scenes and other assorted space scenes just look fantastic as well. And there's a very striking, Alderaan-esque scene as well.

The story, I'll be honest with you, some parts of it I really don't know what the hell was happening. I know it was all a big excuse to create an "alternate reality" so they could make up this new story without destroying the entire past canon of the TV show. But in any event, it's an engaging story, and it works. Like I said before, the acting puts this over the top, and even makes some of the more ridiculous moments seem realistic. Kudos.

As an aside, I always thought "Live long and prosper" was such a legitimately great way to end a conversation. I mean, really, what a nice thing to say to someone. If it was socially acceptable, that's how I'd end all of my conversations.

As a further aside, I can do the Vulcan gesture with not only my right hand, but my left hand too. Suck on that bitches.

So yes, this movie is highly recommended. Even if you're not a science fiction fan, I think you'd be entertained by this film. It is smart, funny at times, visually stunning, and even emotionally resonant. A great reboot for a uniquely American pop institution.

Buying Food

I took my dad to the airport today, he is going to Europe for about three weeks. Ordinarily, I'd probably be extremely jealous, but (a) I'm going to London the end of June and (b) I don't think Europe is ready to deal with my father for 3 weeks. I wish him the best of luck. Watch out France, Belgium, England, and Portugal.

Anyways, I was left some money to go and buy food, which I did. And you know, I've often felt that I live in a state of arrested development. I read somewhere that adolescence in America lasts until age 26, which I don't doubt in the slightest. The funny thing, most of my friends are in the same sort of position. There must be something about liberal, college-educated young males stuck in this vacuum of grad/professional school that does something funny with their brain. Needless to say, I went grocery shopping at Whole Foods, because I've wanted to check it out. Plus, I wanted to have the experience of an entitled, urban, professional person who pretends/is socially conscious about their food supply. And of course, I do have a fondness for wandering around grocery stores. Check.

But I got home, and I figured out what exactly I had bought. Mind you, this is what I need to eat for like, two weeks.

1 - pita bread
2 - hummus
3 - 2 frozen cheese enchiladas
4 - a bag of black beans
5 - a single cup of yogurt
6 - a block of cheddar cheese
7 - some cereal

Anyways, I got back, realized what I had done, and then decided I needed to pick up a few more things. Plus, I had only spent half of my allotted food quota. So I went to Rainbow. Here's the list from there.

1 - Phish Food ice cream
2 - a bottle of Mexican coke
3 - a bag of rice
4 - a tub of salsa
5 - one lime
6 - a case of American coke

You might as well scratch the Mexican coke off the list, since I drank it while I studied for property.

Now to be fair, there is some food here. There's a bunch of frozen pork/chicken that I could grill, and I do have some chips for the salsa. I suppose there are some eggs, and some milk. But I was looking at what I had bought, and I thought out loud, "What the hell did you just do?"

So anyways, if anyone wants to have a gin and tonic sometime at my dad's house within the next two weeks, feel free to come on over. Just make sure you bring the gin and tonic. I will supply the lime.

Or if you have some cachasa, we could make caipirinhas. That would go better with the Brazilian feast I think I'm going to attempt on Monday after my property test.

Speaking of, if anyone has any ideas on how you would define property, and why you should care about it, feel free to let me know. I think a philosophical conversation of that sort would be helpful preparation.

I'm going to go have some salsa.