Haircuts

I decided to get a haircut today, as a sort of prize for surviving round one of dentistry hell. Yes, round one. It blows. I'm sure he's bringing out some sort of medieval torture device for tomorrow's fun. I think most dentists have to be sadists at heart.

I go to this haircutting salon near my house, also coincidentally near the dentist's. I'm the only man I've ever seen inside of it. As a result, I think I'm some sort of curiosity amongst the usual clientele of old women getting their hair permed and such. And the middle aged ladies who actually cut the hair. Kind of like that one white kid on the basketball team. Typically Carol cuts my hair, but she went home early today. So instead I got Therese, whom I've never had before.

Getting a haircut, to me, is just a very pleasureable experience. First of all, I cease looking like I rolled out of a bottle of whiskey, or a pedophile. Second of all, there's something soothing about having your hair combed by someone else. It's like a tiny massage for your head. Like a million little elves are doing a jig on your head, except that it's a comb.

Anyways, Therese was the haircutting equivalent of those Asian massages with the extra surprise at the end that you see advertised in the City Pages. I now feel what my dog feels like when I sit and absent-mindedly pet his head for hours on end. This woman, as haircutters do, would randomly stop cutting and yak at her fellow haircutters. But while she was doing that, she kept petting my head. It was very strange. But I can understand why dogs like it, it was quite calming. Hell, I wish she was petting my head right now. Everything she did seemed to take at least twice as long as Carol. She probably clippered me about 50 times, washed my hair for about 10 minutes, etc, etc, etc. I'm going to assume it was all an attempt to seduce me. Rejected Therese, you're not my style. I sure did like your cardigan though.

I think the strangest part was when she asked if I wanted my beard trimmed. I said I could take care of that at home. Then she asked if I wanted my eyebrows clipped. I just kind of turned and looked at her with supreme confusion on my face. I don't know how else you respond to that.